View from the Edge

Five Tips for Trucking Security in a Zombie Apocalypse

Are the zombies coming for you? This issue features tips on how to survive and ensure the freight still gets delivered!

There is nothing more annoying than running into a shambling horde of zombies just as you are trying to start out on your next trip. Whether they are in search of something to chew on (they are), climbing onto your truck or just wandering around aimlessly, undead monsters can really cut into your travel time.

Knowing how to complete your route safely during a zombie apocalypse is surprisingly easy as long as you follow some basic precautions. Here are five tips to keep yourself, your co-drivers and the rest of civilization safe.

Know what you are up against

When dealing with a pathogen that turns people into lumbering, flesh-eating monsters, it's important to know how they got that way and how you can avoid it.

  • Watch out for bites: being undead is hungry work, and zombies are always looking for their next meal. Be careful to avoid being bitten by one not only because it will hurt, but because this is also the main way to be turned into a zombie yourself. Remember: get bit, get sick.
  • Don't get scratched: although slightly less likely to give a person a full case of the undead munchies, getting scratched by a zombie can certainly put you at risk. It's better to play it safe.

In general, if you can avoid getting up close and personal with one then you should be safe.

Know what you need to stay alive

Trying to deliver a load to the next outpost of survivors should be straightforward, but you will need some extra preparations to ensure you get there safely. Having a supply of pre-packaged or even dehydrated food and fresh water inside the cab will help if the road you are on is infested with zombies. In the event this happens, just stay out of sight, put your feet up, and wait for them to move on. In the event that they do see you inside the cab, just make sure the doors are locked...

You can also stock up on sports gear—hockey pads and gloves are effective for personal protection if you happen to encounter a monster while outside of the cab. They don't move very quickly though, so even if you just have your running shoes on you should be okay.

Look out for your partner

Travelling with a co-driver is a big part of zombie apocalypse best practice. Apart from having someone to trade off with in case you get tired, your co-driver is also an important second set of eyes to watch out for undead surprises appearing out of nowhere.

However, any time either of you re-enters the cab, make sure to check each other for bites and scratches. You don't want to find yourself sitting next to someone who suddenly turns into a snarling creature that wants to attack you (and no, we don't mean your mother-in-law).

Identify bandits and other hazards

While driving through the wasteland that is the remains of human civilization, you are likely to come across other problems besides the undead. There are still some survivors outside of the cities, but they tend to support themselves by stealing what they can, including what's in your truck.

Bandits will try all sorts of tricks to try and get you to stop including

  • Pretending to be hitchhikers
  • Flagging you down for help with a broken vehicle
  • Setting up barricades in the middle of the road

Often there are other bandits hiding in the bushes, ready to steal your cargo as soon as you stop. In each of these cases and others, it is best to avoid them altogether. If you do happen to come across an unforeseen situation and you are unsure how to proceed, consult your carrier's zombie apocalypse policy handbook for guidance.

Learn to deal with the undead

Ash-borer beetles, spotted lanternflies, zombies. They are all invasive species, and they all need to be carefully managed. When it comes to the undead, just remember to follow some basic pre and post-trip practices to make sure you and the other survivors can stay safe. Before leaving,

  • Check that your door locks are in working order
  • Make sure that the load is secure and your trailer doors are sealed
  • Ensure that any anti-zombie measures attached to your vehicle (cow-catcher, snow-plow blade, etc.) are secure and in good working order.

After you arrive

  • Work with a team member to inspect under and around your vehicle for any undead stowaways or left over zombie bits
  • Before you open the trailer doors, make sure the seal is still intact. If it isn't, be ready when you open them.

Conclusion

Figuring out how to safely operate in these new post-apocalyptic conditions may take some time. But by following these tips for navigating a zombie-infested wasteland, you can have a safe and successful trip every time.

Good luck, and happy Halloween!

View from the Edge is a periodic review of best practices in risk management, driver development, and technology for the trucking industry, produced by CarriersEdge.

CarriersEdge provides interactive online driver training for the North American trucking industry. A comprehensive library of safety and compliance courses is supplemented with extensive content creation and customization options, full featured survey tools, detailed management reports, and the industry's first dedicated mobile app for driver training.

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